69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
