Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
