my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
