i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
