I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
