How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
