You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
