K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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