Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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