she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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