Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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