seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There r osticjed everywhere
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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