The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
