youre lurking in front of me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
