I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
