lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
