I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
