i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
