we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
