Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
