Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
