I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
