Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
