What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
