I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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