I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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