9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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