Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Is that strawberry winking at me??
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
