i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize