Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
