Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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