We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
