its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Pappa wants mamma naked
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
