question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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