what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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