We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
