u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
