What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
