so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
