Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
