So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
