I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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