I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
