Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What drink are we having for lunch?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
