I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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