You can't special order awesome
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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