He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You're like the curious george of whores
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
