why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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