After last night, I could never be a politician.
birth control should be required to get into college
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
