North Korea, Best Korea!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
